4. Connection for the Wanderer: Attunement

My favorite definition of attunement is “to bring into harmony”. Wherever I think of connection, I think of 3 things: responsibility, intimacy and discovery. Each of these things require the other. Attunement requires a level of responsibility. What are you connecting to? How are you connecting? How are you showing up? How are you providing? Are you adhering to your personal boundaries, affiliations, perspectives, beliefs? Are you being safe with yourself? With your body? From the responsibility is there a certain level of intimacy being created? Are you actively getting closer? Are you building safety? From the intimacy are things being discovered? Are you still exploring, learning and realizing? If not, is the attunement productive? Is it worthwhile?

As a social work student who wants to be a clinician and work with children and family services, I believe my greatest gift is my desire to connect with folks. I believe attunement will be my greatest asset in my career. I think the greatest thing we can offer one another is emotional safety. It is the greatest thing we can build with someone. If someone believes that they are emotionally safe, they believe that they can stretch. Social work is reminding folk that they can stretch. I want to use attunement to build relationships of trust and rapport. I want to work through empathy as responsibly, intentionally and fully as I can.

The book “The Body Keeps score” sums attunement up gorgeous: “Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”

References:

A., Van der Kolk Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of Trauma. Penguin Books, 2015.